Gone but Never Forgotten Carlos.

Today 42 years go on this day…November, 24th of 1966…this little boy was been born in …Sao Paulo, Brazil. He grew up to be a VERY given man and was the most shy kid in school as he grew up…He was introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when he was 16 years old by the first girl that he fell for… she was the Stake President’s daughter and she told him that she had morals and values that would stop her from ever dating a person that didn’t have her principals… Carlos was a very amazing young man and he did have the best of characters; upon seeing her determination and faith he decided that he too wanted to learn more about her church…he started to listen to the Mormon missionaries and in no time he was reading the book of Mormon by himself and looking for his own answers and the day came when he was baptized…My great friend SELMA was very concerned that he had been baptized because he was infatuated with her and not because he had a testimony… but she was wrong…the time came when she realized that he too had found a testimony of what we in our family all believe to be the true church of Jesus Christ…because not long after his baptism, he started to tell everyone in his family ( who were not members of the same church), that he was going to be a missionary after been a member for over a year of been baptized. His dreams came true when he was called by the prophet to serve a mission for two years in my country –Portugal--.

Carlos Mission

I met Carlos when I was a young woman and we absolutely HATED each other…there were not even one doubt that those feelings of dislike were sooooo mutual. I went to a Stake Carnival party…I was dressed as Pocahontas and he made fun of my braids and of my strong accent…me on the other hand told him that he had no business been in my country….we spent the whole evening fighting one another…And that day one thing got definite … two people truly hated each other and never lost any opportunity to make those feelings public. I grew a year and became engaged to a very handsome young man...and by that time I had even forgotten about that abnoxious missionary that I had met a year before. and as all missionaries do, they go from a different area for different periods of time. Now can you imagine how shocked was I, upon my finding out that Elder Carlos Santos had been transferred to my area and was a part of my ward? I never saw two people be so impolite with each other in such a shocking way… One day while we were taking a walk from church to my home, I was walking with my friend and overheard Elder Santos telling his companion just how much he couldn’t stand me, and even if I were the last woman on earth and for simple procreation he would never look at me in a romantic way…his companion told him that he had a very different opinion and if I ever wanted to go to Idaho I would became Mrs. Stanley. Carlos lost all his respect for Elder Stanley… after all how could Stanley even consider such a things? He was full of odium towards me…

As life moved on to me and my ex-fiancé, I ended have my heart broken since in the end things didn't work out...I guess they were not meant to be.

ME IN BRAZIL, IN MY HOME

Life sure is full of tricks and after his mission he became engaged with my best friend Carla… I was living in Brazil and because Carla came from Portugal to see him he had to put up with my company… trust me, there were no secrets that we detested each other… Their relationship didn’t last, and he started dating another great friend of mine…Telma… One day while going out with the youth of our church, Carlos started to act very funny towards me… and I realized that he didn’t hate me anymore, but in my thoughts we still had to be always annoying one another…he started to try to keep me away from any young man…and due to our spiteful relationship…I did everything to make him feel even worse…I don’t think that I will ever be able to flirt so much as I was capable of flirting with so many boys just every time I was in front of him… we started to find things in common and that didn’t seem cool to my reputation lol. One day we were invited together to go to this formal ball…I was unyielding to go anywhere with him, but since many of our common friends were going I accepted…reluctantly I may add… I got there earlier and didn’t see Carlos… I was in heaven… then I heard people talking at the door and I looked and saw that Carlos had forgotten to bring a tie…I just laughed and thought that I was free from him for the rest of my night… BUT much to my surprised…Carlos was also NOT the acquiescent kind… so he climbed a Palm tree and got this ginormous leaf… he was capable of making anything happen and so it is no surprise that he transformed that leaf into a green tie…The people at the door thought that he was so determinate and willing to sacrifice anything to get into that room that they allowed him to go…I was staring at him while I was dancing with this famous Brazilian soccer player named “Junior”…when I saw Carlos walking towards us and telling Junior, “You have long monopolized her night, now she is mine for the rest of the ball. I had to laugh and the way he looked at me I knew that the “hate” that we both had felt so long before, was definitely gone… we had both grown very fond of each other…

From that day on I never went anywhere else without Carlos … don’t take me wrong I still made him get very scared to lose me… just to make sure how much he was devoted to me…I turned down many amazing guys for him…he proved me during that time that I was loved and he was going to love me and love my babies :=)
We got married and in no time we were expecting our first child… we called the baby” Little Carlos”, until I was almost ready to give birth … we just assumed it was a boy…We did get the shock of our lives when we found out that we were going to have a baby girl. Carlos took care of making her room like if she was a princess… he became everything to me and he even was the one who cut my hair the day I went into labor… after waiting for 28, almost 29 hours for me to give birth and due to complications he had to leave and seat outside… When finally he got to meet OUR Sara, she had this “MEAN and MAD look on her face… (Everyone at the hospital thought it and laughed about it). As they took him to see me and having him meet his daughter…(I will never forgot)…he kissed me over and over and then went around and laid towards my arms where I was holding Sara and he said the most remarkable words that became the most memorable words in our family…as he leaned over her and said: “Good evening, My name is Carlos Henrique dos Santos and I am your father, it is indeed a pleasure to make your acquaintance” I started to laugh and he looked at me and called me by OUR nickname “Cuddly” and simply stated that he didn’t know what else to say, because he was embarrassed of what she was thinking of him.

He become a Bishop for Our Ward in Mem Martins – Sintra he was a very young man…he was only 24 years old and I was a young wife and mother myself…it was strange and at the same time we could count the blessings with every trial that we had to face. We both LOVED to travel, so needless to say just how many trips we took all over Brazil and South America countries; not to mention Europe… we used to love to just go to France during summer time and sleep under the Eiffel Tower in Paris with our little Sara… (Our partner in crime, since was always with us) lol.

SEINE RIVER-FRANCE

And our family kept on growing with the amazing news that we were going to be parents again… we always wanted to have 3 or 4 children…so deep inside we both wanted another girl, but neither one of us had the courage to tell the other, and then one day I had this ultrasound and we found out that we were having a girl, we both “jumped” in that Dr.’s Office, and we finally had the courage to tell each other that we wanted to have a girl and maybe later have the other two and maybe a boy would be on the way. Our Jessica was born right after my dad left this earth and I will never forget the scary hours Carlos and I lived when she was born with her umbilical cord around her neck and without breathing…I was screaming to Carlos that I wanted to see our daughter and he had his tears rolling down his eyes and still trying to tell me that everything was going to be fine…I will never forget when they brought us our Jessica and that smile in Carlos face… just how much he cried of joy and the sweater that he was wearing…this green hunter that belonged to my brother Silvio who by the way was his best friend…that view of Jessica and Sara in his arms in that hunter green sweater…closing his eyes crying and holding my hand…my heart took a picture that day... one of many pictures. Jessica was just another reason to make his life even happier…his children were his reason for living. My sweet daughters Jessica and Sara if there’s something that mommy think that you should always know and remember is that you had a earth father who loved and I know that still loves you like no other father could have loved you two girls. He loved every little adventure that you girls conquered and every achievement that you girls accomplish.

Stay true to your origins and roots because if there’s one thing that I know without any doubt, is that daddy would want you girls to fallow our Heavenly father’s commandments, His Prophet and His teachings. He was a man who loved to joke, he was shy as shy can be when I met him… he told many times to me and many other people that I taught him how to live and to inhale life with each adventure we had. Carlos was an amazing father and a man that loved Our Heavenly Father very deeply.

WE WERE ALL THERE, IN THE GERMAN TEMPLE


WE ALSO WERE THERE TOGETHER, LONDON TEMPLE

I failed him in so many ways… and a part of me died with him when he departed this earth to became a missionary to Our Father in Heaven like our little Jessica tells us everyday…To my girls Carlos is an angel who looks over us every time that we need a guardian angel. Carlos and I always loved a song that was dedicated to our loved ones that left us…little did I know that one day I would be writing it down to you “Cuddly”.

“It is difficult to say goodbye and to leave, it is difficult to see everything ending. And the moments we had…those moments will never again going to return, but the hardest thing is time be able to erase our good moments and the memories will live on forever. With the distance we remember, the love we keep to ourselves, And with gratitude our heart we turn... to God...!

I CAN'T EVER GO TO SALT LAKE CITY AND NOT SMILE THINKING OF YOUR JOKES AND FUN TIMES WE HAD AND CRY KNOWING THAT YOU ARE BURIED THERE.

We Miss YOU Carlos… more than you know…I still can't believe that you left this earth in your prime...many times i got so mad at you for leaving and for not be here anymore in body...But when I stop to think all I want is to thank you for all that you brought into my life, for giving me Sara and Jessica and for all the moments that belong only to us and to our daughters. I miss you, but all I have to do is look at our daughters and there you are. Each with their own individuality…but definitely they have YOU in their physical appearance and in their personalities…and all the love for you in their hearts. I wish I had more pictures of you and Jessica, but most of our pictures were stolen...

Eu Te Amo Káká (Our nickname for you and you hated it with passion if anyone else other than me called you that... WE Miss you so much).

“FoFa”

P.S I will post more pictures as soon as I'll receive them